I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
