Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize