Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
