someone get that fucking seahorse.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's like iHOP with fire
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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