Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
