in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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