Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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