problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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