We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
