butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
