Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
