god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
