Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
