I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize