Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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