We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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