That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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