Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Randomize
