This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
