I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
