I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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