yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
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Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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