If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
false alarm. still invincible.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
