oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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