I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
