nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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