jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Everclear isn't food dammit
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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