I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
