Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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