Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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