is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
