Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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