He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
