someone get that fucking seahorse.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
