meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
