i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
