The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
