You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other