How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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