She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
