Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
