she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
