After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
