the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
