Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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