glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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