He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So much rum. So many feels.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
