Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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