Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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