2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
