My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the condom got lost in my hair
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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