I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
