Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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