I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
