that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The power of my boobs compel you
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
