She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
