I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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