I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
