I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
