well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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