No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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