i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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