I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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